Being baby led – twin style

We don’t do routines here. I tried briefly. Drew up a timeline of how I’d like the day to go. Pinned it on the corkboard and everything. That’s as far as it got. Looked nice though.

We follow the babies lead. We follow them individually, not as a pair. Some days it means they feed and sleep around the same time, some days they’re on opposite schedules. If Ollie is tired I’m not going to make him stay up until Bas is tired too, or put a non tired Bas to bed just because Ollie is tired. Likewise in the middle of the night when Bas stirs for a feed I don’t wake a sleeping Ollie.\

I try to parent them much the way I would if I’d had them 1 at a time. If they’re crying one of us is there to comfort them, if they ask for a feed they get a feed. If they need to be held/rocked/patted/fed to sleep then that’s what happens too. If they just want to be held close then that’s what we do. It’s a juggling act and sometimes someone has to wait and I’ll be the first to admit it breaks my heart not to have more arms at times. But those are the rare moments.

Some days can be hard work and feel like a constant rotation of feeding babies. Other days I find myself at a bit of a loose end with both babies sleeping. Ollie still sleeps through most nights, while Bas likes to feed lots as he snoozes. But then Ollie feeds more during the day while Bas is starting to explore and examine the world around him.

It can be very easy to lump them together as “the twins”. But they aren’t a pair. They are 2 seperate beings that just happened to inhabit my womb at the same time with their own needs and body clock. And we’re doing our best to meet those needs on their timetable.